Both my parents were active duty Navy at my birth in the state of Maine. They were very loving and came from good families but death and alcoholism were part of my childhood since a young age. Growing up around military bases coast to coast, I lost many friends and had to adjust to different schools and customs. Academically advanced, I was reading novels by the 1st grade. The GT programs of the times left me unchallenged and I spent as much time as possible in the library escaping in books. My sailor father was often overseas and lacking the maturity to understand he was working to provide for his family, I developed anger issues because I loved and missed him so much. While my father finished off the last five years of his Naval career, I moved to El Paso with my mother and brother in 1989 for the 7th grade. Again, unchallenged by the school system, I had report cards of mostly 100s. Unfamiliar with the Mexican culture and unable to speak Spanish, I felt so out of place. Mother worked all the time, so I found adventure and challenge in martial arts and the streets. Boxing and Kung Fu would become a lifelong part of me but back then I lacked the essential humbleness and respect. El Paso had 1000s of gangs and the action of it all appealed to me. No longer caring about living, I dove head 1st into the world of gangsterism and fighting with a suicidal boldness. Years of alcoholism, drugs, pain, death, and costly adventure caused my family great heartache. I was in-and-out of jail from ages 17-21. A shooting marked the peak and end of my gangbanging days and the beginning of a positive change. At age 22 I attended EPCC and worked two jobs when an elderly drunk decided to commit suicide in October of 1999. Leaving a wedding, it was my truck he chose to jump in front of after unsuccessfully laying on a dark road waiting to be ran over. Even though there were witnesses, the DA was not trying to hear about any suicide due to my priors and being on intensive probation for the shooting. I was sentenced to 20 years and my poor mother feinted in court. The exculpatory evidence illegally withheld came to light after I already resided in the penitentiary, but it was too late. Having changed prior to this, I would not allow it to be said I wasted years of life so the daily pursuit was to self-improve mentally by study and meditation, physically by exercise, fight training, and education, and spiritually by prayer and spending time with God. Never did I imagine that such a quest would transform me so dramatically over the years. My last six years were spent in solitary confinement where many went crazy or took their lives to end the unimaginable suffering. I was at peace from much prayer and faith. I read over 1000 books with daily autodidactic pursuit and discovered mighty graces to sing, write powerful poetry, create melodies, and lyrics. I developed a unique insight on life after years of introspection having reflected on the harsh lessons of my past. I discovered my purpose to help others by sharing lessons learned from extreme experiences through music, the universal language to reach my message of positive change and hope to all the globe. I decided I would seek a degree from the University of Texas El Paso while training people using my vast knowledge in sports/martial science. Upon my release at nearly age 32, I was not prepared in any way to re-enter the world and was in utter shock just to see trees, grass, people, and cars. A month later I attended an ACTS retreat and became good friends with men from all walks of life, including judges, police, priests, and established men of the local society who were all so inspired by my spirituality and insight. Another month later, an advisor from the music department told me that a music degree had an 85-90% drop-out rate because it was so hard that even kids studying since grade school couldn’t audition into the program and those who did often did not last more than a year or two. He said I’d have to know how to read and write music to be eligible to audition into the program and that he could not bet a nickel that I could ever complete a degree because just the thought of what it would take seemed unfathomable and never before attempted. I said I had no clue, but that I had a gift to sing, would work my tail off, and having survived the impossible, had absolutely no doubt in God’s empowerment. He said I would be given a chance and was assigned seven classes that semester. Having been gone for the decade the global technological boom took place, I had no idea what even the internet was. Being so elated to be free and have the opportunity to learn, I worked so hard and aced every class, including music fundamentals. To audition I sang a German song from the 1800’s and blew the judging panel of doctors from the vocal department away to where Dr. Han from Korea got down and said “I want this man in MY studio.” Overwhelmed with joy, I was clueless how hard the journey would really be. For music if one failed a one credit class, the degree would be placed on hold for one year to allow study before being permitted to reattempt the class. Learning the language and professional ability of a true musician while in my 30’s was difficult beyond imagination and unprecedented. It took me seven non-stop years of rigorous study where I sang in formal concerts in 10 languages and studied under Dr. Han for one year, Dr. Eylon for four years, Dr. Garineh for one year, and opera star Brian Downen for my last year. I won $700.00 in the 1st ever UTEP Talent show and went on a singing tour of New Mexico, all-expense paid by UTEP. I performed in three operas (twice with the El Paso Opera), with the El Paso Symphony Orchestra on several occasions, and met many amazing people. I made UT history by performing the most versatile Senior Recital concert by singing 13 songs in 10 different genres and seven languages with phenomenal musicians. By God’s grace and profuse determination, I finally graduated with honors, achieving a Bachelor’s degree in Commercial Music as a professional vocalist! Not long after my release I had built a private training grounds and founded a boxing team. My skills were recognized and I because part of professional circles having the honor to have trained with some of the best in the world in NYC, Florida, Nebraska, Puebla, and Mexico City with world champions and legends like Nacho Beristain (camp Juan Manuel Marquez) and Nate Campbell. My expertise in unarmed combat has allowed me to teach and train SWAT, Special Forces, Police and law enforcement of every sort, military of every branch, athletes at every level from kids and collegiate to televised professionals. I was offered contracts to work in Las Vegas, coast to coast and Europe but refused all to prioritize my education. Shortly after my release from prison, I was secured as guest speaker for UTEP, local schools, Ft. Bliss, the juvenile detention center, the Schaefer House, radio, television, churches and a myriad of events.
After 10 YEARS behind bars, I am proof there is hope and purpose if we truly strive for good and never lose faith! With GOD, all good things are possible. This musical collage was made to share inspiration. In my heart, I know that God kept me alive against all logic, science, and odds so that I may share my life with others to provide positive perspective and wisdom from powerful lessons learned the hard way.
Currently, I am writing a book and co-creating a pioneering musical theatre with Emmy Award-winner David Grabarkowitz, the former director of the El Paso Opera, the New York City Opera, the Chicago Opera, the Miami Opera, and who historically brought the 1st opera to the country of Bhutan. It is called “Esperanza” and based on my transformational years while in solitary confinement with original music all composed by me. It will have a message of hope, faith, purpose, and will give pertinent insight into the incarcerated reality, prison as a business and the kangaroo court system society is largely apathetic to. Money, not justice is the driving force that determines one’s sentence.
